REMINISCENCE
Fourth Christmas without mum! I
remember the first Christmas without her, when my kid sister was telling me she
didn’t know it would be a happy Christmas. She was right, I thought as much
too. But dad tried to make up for mum’s absence- we had enough drinks in the
freezer. [Mummy always ensured the freezer was stuffed with enough goodies each
Christmas/New Year season.]
Looking back, I have tried to count
our blessings since mum left us. Dad retired about two years after mum’s demise
(you know what that means with the last two not done with their tertiary
education yet). It has not been so easy,
but the Lord has been there in every step. Our first born is done with her
masters, my elder sister is concluding hers, and God gave the third born a fine
job without ado a month after her NYSC. Shade, though still awaiting admission
is moving forward (she is a fashion designer already, has her OND, and is
working on her ICAN), our last bee is at the university. I’m sure momma is
happy where she is with the Lord. Really, it was unfair for us to lose mummy
when we did. It was so painful. I did not even dream of my mum dying twenty
years from that time. Death did strike us a hard blow. But we are comforted in
the fact that she died in the Lord. All we need do is to walk with the Lord so
we could see her again when we get to heaven (I know the Lord’s mercy will take
us there).
After mum’s death, I suffered
depression for some time. I didn’t know it was depression, though. I only knew
I wasn’t myself. I was so withdrawn, not like the normal flighty AY. I noticed
I used to be heavy hearted everyday starting from around nine in the morning. I
tried to trace the cause but couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I was
too calm and quiet. But later, the Lord made me realize I was still mourning.
So I started asking the Lord to fully comfort me.
On the last Friday of 2008, Shade and
I went for a vigil. There, the guest minister was testifying on how the Lord
delivered her daughter from traditionalists in a town in Yewa LGA, Ogun State.
The lady did not know there was a local curfew in the town for some rituals.
She went there to visit a family and did not tell them she was coming. She had
entered the town before she realized her plight. The oro cultists sighted her and started to pursue her. She ran as she
had never done in her life (remember how Elijah ran and Ahab’s chariot could
not overtake him). She escaped into her hosts’ compound, they could not catch
her. Her hosts burst into tears when they saw her, no one had ever escaped from
these men, they told her.
In short, the minister led us in prayers
of thanksgiving, that we should thank God who had not given us cause to
forcefully thank Him (just because we have to thank Him whatever the
situation). I cried throughout the vigil because I as a person was thanking Him
just because He is faithful, no matter what, I just lost my mum! I told Him I
needed the oil of gladness that He should restore my joy. I could not stop
crying. My sister told me after the
vigil she told God the same thing I told Him and that she cried too. Even on
our way back home in the taxi, we were crying. But the Lord did something for
me that day; He took away the heaviness in my heart and restored my joy. It was
a sweet experience. I recovered from the mourning mode. God made me glad again
and gave me back my smiles. I was so grateful!
I still miss mum (everyone in my
family does and will forever miss her till we see her again at home in heaven).
And I’ve always trusted God for a mother in each mother-in-law He gives my
siblings and I, mothers-in-law that will not make us remember mummy too much. I
know He’s done it already. And in spite of all we’ve been through, we can still
sing this:
Still the Lord is good
No matter what it is
The troubles of this world may be
much
Still the Lord is good.
Siblings, I’m missing not being home
for Christmas/New Year, but everything is working together for my good. Try not
to miss me too much (*winks*). You folks should just ensure you thank the Lord
as much as you can because He has been our pillow and our help and also plan to
walk the more with Him. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance. I love
you so much.
(Written
on Dec 20, 2011 around 10:30 pm (GMT+1) in my unit at work on a rig called
Oritsetimehin, offshore Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria.)
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