Wednesday, 5 December 2012

God is busy writing my story
As each moment passes, He is updating
Every detail and ephemeron
Crossing every 't' and dotting every 'i'
And it is turning out more beautiful than I ever dreamed

There have been ups and downs
There have been tears, despairs and sighs
There have been disappointments and hurts
There have been painful lessons
But all these have only succeeded in adding colour to the story

Lord I put my hand in Your hand
For this is necessary
Iif every 't' in the story must be crossed and every 'i' dotted.

Sunday, 25 November 2012

The Void Spelt G.O.D

For several weeks, I was down (not healthwise). I found it hard to pray well and could not sing freely. It was painful because I knew my joy was not full. Little things pissed me off and I was often feeling grouchy, dissatisfied about everything. 

I knew it was a big vacuum that only God could fill and I was crying to Him everyday to fill it. My personal praise/worship life was minus. All these were pointers to the fact that I needed more of God. I am a prolific writer (writes proses, poems and plays), but when I'm down, I always struggle for ideas. I have learnt over years of walking with God that He is my Source for everything, my Muse and my sense of wits, my dancing steps and my sweet music, my joy and my smiles.

Throughout this period, I rarely posted on my Facebook pages because there was almost nothing to post. But glory, I'm alive again. He has refreshed me and is still doing so. I sing to Him effortlessly now, and I'm sure it is getting better, my joy is getting fuller as each day passes and my wits are back. Hallelujah!

One of the past days of dryness, I wrote this poem on 24/10/2012:

THE VOID SPELT G.O.D
Each time I get uptight and grouchy,
reacting at every slight provocation-
I know there is a void in me which needs to be filled.
Each time I feel unnecessarily dissatisfied about life,
feeling something is missing in spite of having 'all'
I know there is a void waiting to be filled.

This void is spelt G.O.D -
Every man has it,
great or small.
Everyone experiences it,
saved or unsaved.

Truth is many do not realise it can only be filled by GOD,
So they think it will go if they make more money
or if they get more influential.
A lot feel it will leave if they become more beautiful
or go trans-sexual.
Several others try to 'increase' in good deeds
just for this void to vanish.
Many a dignitary had killed him(her)self because of this void
and a number of commoners too.

If only they knew that the only one who could fill the void was GOD!
If only they knew that all they ever really wanted was GOD -
Not more fame or wealth;
Not more goodness or nicety;
Not more silver or gold;
Not more beauty or pomp -
Not more power or influence
For in Him all things consist
and if you have Him,
everything else runs after you.

©2012, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde

Friday, 16 November 2012

FRANCE AGAIN!

I'm back in France and should be there for more than one month, for another training of course. Surely, I can't be duped again. Just that I came in on a Monday and went straight to class. I was struggling to keep my eyes open in class. I was so tired that I went straight to bed that night the moment I touched my bed. The hotel room is not bad, just that there is no kitchenette, so you can't do any cooking for yourself.
 Family and friends gave me chores to complete before returning home, which I hope to accomplish:
  1. Add on weight
  2. Learn French
On the first day, in the taxi I entered from the airport, the cold was not friendly on me. Unfortunately, I did not have my jacket on. I tried to tell the driver in English it was too cold for me and that he should put on his warmer. But each time I told him that, he reduced the temperature. There was obviously a language barrier between us, I had to endure the cold until I got to my destination. Here, it might not be easy for you if you cannot speak French as most people you'll come across knows little English or pretends to.

Here is a message I sent to some loved ones:

My trip was fine. It is chilling cold here. We are transiting to winter (autumn). I have just one jacket and I'm planning to get more layers on Saturday plus a pair of winter boots and long thermal socks.
The training has been fine so far, except for the fact that I am the least experienced among my colleagues. But I'm coping and learning fast. Today, we had our first test and I had a straight 91%. I was so glad to God as I was highly encouraged. I need to improve on the practical side however.
I have had some challenges with what food to eat here for dinners. (We are not booked to eat dinners (plus lunch if on weekends at the hotel. We are given some money to buy food for ourselves.) Last week, I bought some rice and chicken curry for 12.5 euros at a Pakistani restaurant I went to with my colleagues. But, alas, I could not eat the food because of some strange flavour it has. It was in my fridge for four days when I gave it to the woman that cleaned my room on Saturday. I was happy I did not have to throw away 12.5 euros.
For over a week, I was taking soaked garri and fried chicken, at times, some cakes. I did not enjoy it very well all along but I had no choice until today when I took the 'risk' of going again with my colleagues to a Turkish restaurant. God so good, I found what I've been searching for. Their food was so good, except for the long walk it takes to get there from the hotel....
                                                                 



And in response to this mail, my people replied I should not return home leaner in spite of all...smh

I THINK I WAS DUPED


This is an account of how I was duped in Paris on April 1, this year, when I went for a training. It was indeed an 'April Fool' for me... :

THE ACCOUNT OF THE DUPE
My flight arrived at the CDG Airport at 6:15hrs on Sunday (01/04/2012) morning. After getting done with the immigration officials, I proceeded to go get a taxi or a RER. I had been pre-informed that the taxi estimated cost is 140 euros at the maximum according to the sheet containing the travel tips given to me from my base in Nigeria and by some colleagues who left the campus on the day (31/04/2012) I was leaving Nigeria. From the travel tips I also knew I could take RER though it was recommended to take taxi after 9:30 pm. I prepared for taxi but preferred to take the RER since my arrival time would not be 9:30 pm and since it would leave me with more money to be able to buy whatever I would want to buy during the training and any suitable thing I would want to take back home with me at the end of the training.

As soon as I came out from the border police area and claimed my baggage, I was met by a guy who was asking me if I wanted a taxi, but I could not understand him because he could not speak English so I ignored him. Then another black guy appeared and asked if I speak English, I was relieved to see someone that understand English so I gave him my attention. He claimed he was a taxi driver and told me he would take me to Chateau du Mee at 300 euros because it was a Sunday and there would be too much hold-up so that his meter would read more than on regular days. I told him I was not going to enter a taxi if it was like that that I would rather take a RER, so I asked him to rather show me where I would take the train. But he held on and offered to take me down to my destination by train at 140 euros for his efforts. I told him I was not told that according to the travel tips sheet with me (I even showed him the sheet), so he should just show me the RER so I could board and go my way, yet he stayed put stating he could help me then get the ticket and then send me on my way. He claimed to be helping me and presented himself as such a honest person that I believed everything he said. He was a member of an organization that reaches out to orphans and homeless children in Niger Republic, he claimed. He was Carribean French, he informed me, and spent two years in California for a mechanic training and had been in France for 11 or 13 years. So he kept on following me and helped me get the first train ticket because he said I would enter two trains to get to the area where Chateau du Mee is and would only have to trek for about ten minutes to get to my destination from the last train station. I gave him 10 euros and I saw him slid the note into a machine which cluttered out the change as he said the ticket cost 9, 25 euros which truly was typed on the ticket.

Then he told me about one Paris pass which I must get or else I would have problems with the police. He said it was necessary for every visitor in Paris and I must get it. I did not have up to the money he said it cost (200 plus euros) and I told him so, but he persuaded me to get it and would not give up as if he really cared. I did not have up to that as I changed only 400 dollars at the airport which was equivalent to 243 euros. He advised I could use my credit card to pay for it if I did not have enough cash on me. I let him know my credit card was not Master Card and so I could not use it, but he said Visa Card could be used outside your country too. So I began to frantically search for my credit card. Fortunately, I did not find it in my backpack. I told him I was not going to get the pass, that I would get it later but he kept on talking about it, encouraging me to bring out my credit card to be able to pay for it. He offered to follow me to the first train station (now I realised he did that to gain my confidence and convince me more on the so called Paris pass, I did not know then, I thought he was only been helpful). In the train, he told me the story of a guy from an African country who he carried in his taxi to his destination, how the guy refused to buy the Paris Pass because he did not have up to the amount it cost on that day, 440euros, in his credit balance (he said the price for the pass varies from day today, at times it is cheap, at times it is expensive, but the good thing is that the authority takes only 10% of the initial amount you paid and you could go back to any train station later to get your change; all you have to do is to show the official there your pass and he would check it with his computer and give you your change). According to him, the African guy had a problem with the police later because he did not have the pass and he was deported back to his country.

He did not stop talking about the pass until I blurted out that I still had some dollars I could change on me. He said he would change it for me at the train station. At the train station, he changed the 200dollars I gave him for 216euros (it did not occur to me to ask for receipt). He then told me to prepare the money in my bag before giving him as giving him money in public view could arouse the suspicion of the police thinking we were drug dealers. All.the while he was hurrying me up claiming he was still going to pick someone at 9:10am at the airport, if not because he was helping me, he claimed. In short, I gave him 322 euros in that station area (he claimed the pass cost 240 euros at a reduced rate because he, a citizen, helped me get it, the second train ticket was sold for 62 euros and he made me pay him 20 euros for his service, he even claimed the 20 euros service charge was not profitable to him because he was only helping me and he told me he would not lie to me too (what an irony!)). This guy gave me a map too, to find my way around Paris if I have to go anywhere. Now when I look back, I know he did those things to make me think he was a good person.

Lest I forget, when he got the second ticket for me, he said I had two options, either to go with a direct train to Melun or to go with two trains whereby one dropped me at a station and from there I could enter another one going to Melun. I wanted to go with the direct rain which was 18 minutes away from the station at the time, but he advised I went with the other train that would drop me somewhere else and then afterwards I could take the train going down to Melun. He offered to go with me even though he had told me before then he would leave me at the first station we got to after leaving the airport. Now I remember better, it was when he followed me the second time that I finally agreed to change 200 more dollars and definitely he followed me so he could persuade me and get me convinced to have him get the Paris pass for me. I could also recall he took me to a bill in French posted on a wall there and showed me some age range with some amounts written under each age range. He claimed the prices were the costs of Paris pass for different age ranges. It was about 270 euros for my age range but he said he could buy it at a reduced price for me since he was a citizen. I still do not understand how he got me to believe every of his lie. It was at this second station that he gave me the map. He collected a pen from a lady at a counter there and circled Melun on the map in order to show me the location of my destination. There he led me to the train set for Melun.

I did not realise until later in the train when I checked the ticket and found the cost was not printed on it. That bothered me because I needed the amount in prints to be able to claim my money back at my workbase in Nigeria. It did not cross my mind yet that I was swindled until I got to the station at Le Mee Sur Sein or Melun (I am not so sure of the name) on Monday evening and the official I met there told me there was no money on the pass and in fact I supposed to pay him to charge it for me. I was dumbfounded and could not believe my ears. He was very sorry to hear my story and immediately concluded I had met a swindler. He in fact said it costs only 5euros to get a Paris pass.

This fraudster gave me a mobile number which I have not tried because I asked him for it so I could call him to come pick me up on the day I would be going back home. But it is most likely the number was fake as he knew he was duping me when i did not have an idea of his evil scheme. Even till now, I still find it hard to believe the guy duped me because of the way he presented himself. I am only grateful to God I did not find my credit card when he was pestering me to use my credit card for the pass. He would somehow have made me give him the card and make away with every dime in my account.

The lady at the residence's reception told me it should cost only about 7 euros by train from the airport to Melun. And if Paris pass costs only 5 euros, altogether, he duped me of 319 euros because he collected 331,25 euros from me in total.

Bewildered at my discovery, on my way from the train station, I didn't know what to say than to continue to thank God. It sounds crazy to be thankful in such situation, but I was not going to blame God for He can never be at fault-either me or the devil is. I couldn't and still can't understand why this was allowed to happen to me because I committed every of my way here to God before leaving Nigeria. But I know it shall also work for my good and it shall colour my story. God is always right and just in all His ways. I have learnt not to talk to just anybody again in a strange land. If in doubt about anything I should walk up to any official at the airport and ask questions. Thank God it was money I lost, not my life.

The report above was the one I e-mailed to my instructor at the training except for the last paragraph which was an addition to the story in my mail to some friends. I could recall how it took me about two hours to type! On a good day, I should not spend 30 minutes on this, but it was not a sweet thing to write, it was painful for me.

*RER is the railway network of France

Sunday, 22 July 2012

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Clips-from-MY-LIFE/330907330306751?ref=ts&fref=ts
............................................................
God knows I hate drugs! I hate them with passion. However I have to take some, now, on prescription. I have been having these funny symptoms and I would not want to endure them again, so I have to bring myself to take the administered drugs.
I remember as a child how it could take me an hour (I am not exaggerating) to finish a set of drugs for malaria. At times, I would have to be scolded or threatened with cane before taking them, while occasionally I would find a way to throw the drugs away. At a time, mummy came up with a method of putting the drugs inside balls of eba/amala and eating it with soup, just to make the 'Herculean' task easier for us. What I hate most about drugs is the smell and how they refuse to leave your throat at times even when you take ten cups of water.
I can imagine how terrible it is for people whose lives depend on drugs. If me that take them only once in a blue moon detest them so, what should those people do? So, I have discovered another reason to be thankful to God. It is one of the big blessings of God that we take for granted-- the fact that we do not have to take drugs everyday because of one terminal/terrible disease/sickness.
I have also not been able to drink ordinary water, because I do not feel like it and I was also afraid that I might throw up if I take it. Thus, I rather take hot water or hot tea instead of normal water. Now on a good day, if I am not indisposed, I drink water without stress, I do not have to think twice to take it. This is another reason to be grateful to God-- the fact that I can drink water easily and naturally.
In short, I have been reminded during these two days that health is wealth. We do not usually appreciate our health until when we fall sick and we see the difference. You may not value ease with which you excrete until you have a difficulty in doing so. I have re-learnt that there are so many things to thank God for, if only I will think deep.

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

CHILDHOOD FANTASIES

Childhood fantasies! We all had one or more which could be crazy at times, I can visualise you nodding in agreement. I’ll like to share some of mine with you. I grew up amidst four siblings in a large compound that housed four families. All the couples (including our landlord and landlady) were of the same age range. This meant they all had children within the same peer group. It was really fun for me being a child. I always say it every time I have the opportunity that I had a full childhood and I’m grateful for it.

There were many children in my compound including friends from a closeby yard and children of our neighbours’ family friends. It was really fun growing up. I remember how we would all gather after watching Circus Centering every Saturday morning on NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) in those days and would start fantasizing. If you can remember Circus Centering then, there was a lot of cycle riding on taut strings. So we would start dreaming aloud telling ourselves how we wished our parents would build a special house for children in the compound and provide bicycles with two and three wheels (then we didn’t know those ‘bicycles’ are called monocycles and tricycles) for us. We would talk and imagine with each of us trying to outdo the other.

Those days when we would tell each other about our dreams for our future houses, everyone would say her/his own. Everyone said he would be very rich and his house would have many stores for different things. I told them my house would have one store full of chocomillo (can you imagine?), another one full of brand new dusting powder cans (ask me what I’d do with a room full of dusting powder), another one filled with bags of rice (that is still reasonable), one filled with tubers of yam, another filled with bags of beans (a feasting time for weevils!) and so on and so on. No wonder Paul wrote: ‘When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.’  

Now when I remember those fantasies I laugh at myself. But there were some of them that were more reasonable. For instance, when you saw young ladies in those days and as a small girl you were imagining how it would be when you reach that stage and how long it would take. I don’t know if you mimicked sisis’ (young ladies’) gaits in your house as a child. Well we did it. We’d raise our heels to imply the appearance of a pair of high heeled shoes and then twist our waists as we walked. Children! Now I look back and I chuckle to myself, the girls that mimicked ladies then are now  lovely damsels. Now this will make you laugh, can you think of me telling myself as a child ‘I’ll be kissing my husband when I grow up’ (lots of laughter). I also figured out how it would be, one hot night, if God could put a fan in the sky to be blowing on us, though mum told me He already gave us breeze and that was better, but I wasn’t satisfied. I still felt it would be okay if there was a fan in the sky. There was never one, anyway, and would never be.

What about ‘licking’ candies in books as if they were real, did you do that? We had a number of Ladybird books and they contained some beautiful pictures of sweets. We would lick the candies, savouring the ‘taste’, until our saliva makes the paper soft (giggles).

It was beautiful being a child. It was so wonderful passing through that stage of innocence and naivety. I can’t wait (though I have to) to have my children and eavesdrop on their fantasies, by God’s mercy I won’t miss the experience.

REMINISCENCE

I first posted this on my facebook page on Christmas Day last year:


REMINISCENCE
Fourth Christmas without mum! I remember the first Christmas without her, when my kid sister was telling me she didn’t know it would be a happy Christmas. She was right, I thought as much too. But dad tried to make up for mum’s absence- we had enough drinks in the freezer. [Mummy always ensured the freezer was stuffed with enough goodies each Christmas/New Year season.]
Looking back, I have tried to count our blessings since mum left us. Dad retired about two years after mum’s demise (you know what that means with the last two not done with their tertiary education yet).  It has not been so easy, but the Lord has been there in every step. Our first born is done with her masters, my elder sister is concluding hers, and God gave the third born a fine job without ado a month after her NYSC. Shade, though still awaiting admission is moving forward (she is a fashion designer already, has her OND, and is working on her ICAN), our last bee is at the university. I’m sure momma is happy where she is with the Lord. Really, it was unfair for us to lose mummy when we did. It was so painful. I did not even dream of my mum dying twenty years from that time. Death did strike us a hard blow. But we are comforted in the fact that she died in the Lord. All we need do is to walk with the Lord so we could see her again when we get to heaven (I know the Lord’s mercy will take us there).
After mum’s death, I suffered depression for some time. I didn’t know it was depression, though. I only knew I wasn’t myself. I was so withdrawn, not like the normal flighty AY. I noticed I used to be heavy hearted everyday starting from around nine in the morning. I tried to trace the cause but couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I was too calm and quiet. But later, the Lord made me realize I was still mourning. So I started asking the Lord to fully comfort me.
On the last Friday of 2008, Shade and I went for a vigil. There, the guest minister was testifying on how the Lord delivered her daughter from traditionalists in a town in Yewa LGA, Ogun State. The lady did not know there was a local curfew in the town for some rituals. She went there to visit a family and did not tell them she was coming. She had entered the town before she realized her plight. The oro cultists sighted her and started to pursue her. She ran as she had never done in her life (remember how Elijah ran and Ahab’s chariot could not overtake him). She escaped into her hosts’ compound, they could not catch her. Her hosts burst into tears when they saw her, no one had ever escaped from these men, they told her.
In short, the minister led us in prayers of thanksgiving, that we should thank God who had not given us cause to forcefully thank Him (just because we have to thank Him whatever the situation). I cried throughout the vigil because I as a person was thanking Him just because He is faithful, no matter what, I just lost my mum! I told Him I needed the oil of gladness that He should restore my joy. I could not stop crying.  My sister told me after the vigil she told God the same thing I told Him and that she cried too. Even on our way back home in the taxi, we were crying. But the Lord did something for me that day; He took away the heaviness in my heart and restored my joy. It was a sweet experience. I recovered from the mourning mode. God made me glad again and gave me back my smiles. I was so grateful!
I still miss mum (everyone in my family does and will forever miss her till we see her again at home in heaven). And I’ve always trusted God for a mother in each mother-in-law He gives my siblings and I, mothers-in-law that will not make us remember mummy too much. I know He’s done it already. And in spite of all we’ve been through, we can still sing this:

Still the Lord is good
No matter what it is
The troubles of this world may be much
Still the Lord is good.

Siblings, I’m missing not being home for Christmas/New Year, but everything is working together for my good. Try not to miss me too much (*winks*). You folks should just ensure you thank the Lord as much as you can because He has been our pillow and our help and also plan to walk the more with Him. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance. I love you so much.

(Written on Dec 20, 2011 around 10:30 pm (GMT+1) in my unit at work on a rig called Oritsetimehin, offshore Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria.)